Deb’s Diary March 1976

Friday, 5 March (Day before my Party!!)

Only one more sleep till my party. Aaarrgghh. Went down the pub to make sure we’d invited everyone. Bazzer asked of it was OK to bring his football team. Said yes. It isn’t. Hopefully Dad might not go quite so mad if there are blokes he can talk about football. A bit unlikely I know.

Saturday, 6 March (Party Day)

Got into work at the Bakers and there was smoke pouring out the back door. One of the ovens caught fire and there were firemen running everywhere. One of them looked like Starsky. Tried to invite him to my party but he said he was a bit too busy to stop for a chat.
Rushed home from work and Mum and Dad had decorated the house with giant balloons and streamers everywhere. How embarrassing! I managed to burst most of them before anyone arrived. Dad had his plastic apron on with the fake bra and suspenders. Mum made him take if off. I hid it in the broom cupboard.
Chrissy, Kathy, Linda and a few girls from school all came round to get ready in my bedroom. Dad gave us a Babysham between us and some twiglets. Luckily, Chrissy had bought her Dad’s bottle of Rum with her so that got us started. I had a bath and washed my hair to get rid of the smoke smell from work. I seemed to have used up all the hot water so everyone else just had to do with a quick wash. Well, it is my party. By the time we’d done our hair, make-up and got dressed we were all shaking with fear.
The party was supposed to start at eight and by five past nobody had arrived. I was really starting to panic. Mum and Dad were just about to go next door to sit with old Bert and Vera when a minibus pulled up outside and dozens of people piled off. I’d never seen any of them before in my life. Obviously, I didn’t tell Dad that.
He refused to leave then and stayed in the kitchen pouring very weak drinks all night. How embarrassing. I told everyone he was a caterer. Think I got away with it.
By eleven o’clock well over seventy people were crammed into our small front room. It was so hot I thought I’d even have to take my leather jacket off at one point.
Linda got herself locked in the loo and was crying because Alex hadn’t turned up. What a Drama Queen. I could have told her he wouldn’t. He was going bowling with Julie’s sister tonight who’s twenty and has got two-year-old twins. Think Linda is well rid of him. Must remember to tell her that.
Dad was getting more and more annoyed with the same group of blokes and I had no idea who they were. They kept clicking their fingers and calling him ‘Waiter’ whenever he walked passed. They thought it was very funny. He didn’t.
The final straw was the bloke coming downstairs wearing Mum’s expensive polyester negligee that Dad bought for her birthday last year. That really finished him off completely. Even Mum’s pleas of “Just leave him Fred, he’s not worth it” didn’t calm him down. It didn’t help that he’d found and was wearing the bra and suspender apron again either.
I had minutes to chuck out everyone that I either didn’t know or didn’t want to be there. Just as I was pulling Linda down the stairs to get rid of her, I turned round and couldn’t believe my eyes. There was Tommy on his way in … AND ALL BY HIMSELF!!
He looked gorgeous dressed in a white suit with a big red carnation in the lapel. Underneath was a black shirt open to the waist and a gold half sovereign hanging round his neck. Just like David Essex with a bit of ‘puppy fat’. Quickly dragged him into the front room and shoved Chrissy towards the record player to get rid of the Status Quo shit that was playing.
Our first dance together was ‘Show Me You’re A Woman ’ by Mud, followed by ‘I’m Not In Love’ by 10CC and then ‘Seasons In The Sun’ by someone else. Loved it when he said he liked the smell of my ‘Charlie’. I think he was talking about my perfume.

I hoped he was.

By half past one I thought Dad was going to explode. Tried to avoid him but it was hard when he stormed in, turned the music off and switched the big light on full blast. He made everyone leave, but at least I had a few hours and a couple of slow dances with Tommy. I was happy.
People were slowly starting to leave and I was trying to stop someone from escaping with Dad’s best bottle of brandy. Suddenly this huge monster of a girl grabbed me by the hair, pulled my face right up next to hers (slight breath problem-probably not a Consulate smoker) and announced that she was ‘’SOO’, Apparently, swanted to know what I was doing trying to nick her boyfriend Dave a few weeks ago.
SHIT! So this was Soo!
She really was a big girl.
She had a shaven head on one side and tattoos everywhere. Mmmmm attractive! No wonder Dave wanted rid of her! Tried to call out for a bit of help but there were so many people squashed in the hall no-one heard my pathetic little squeak. By now, she had me pinned up against the wall and was about to punch my lights out with a fist showing ‘LOVE’ tattooed across the knuckles. I dread to think what she planned on doing with the fist with ‘HATE’ on it.
Out of the corner of my eye (the one that didn’t have tears falling out of it), I could see that baby brother Mark must have picked the lock I’d put on his bedroom door and had escaped. I just remember seeing him launch himself (I’d like to say like a Tiger but it was in fact, more like a Baby Rhino) from the top stair and landing right on top of Soo. While she was still in shock, he started thumping and kicking her with an energy I didn’t know he had. She looked like a giant deflated balloon. Flat on the floor with her skirt up round her ears and baggy, grey knickers on show for the world to see. And a tattoo of a whale on her right bum cheek.
Ha Ha. Well done Mark.
Even Dad thought it was funny till he noticed Linda was falling down the stairs and had gone a very funny colour. Too late. She was sick all down Mark’s back, covering his favourite Womble pyjamas in a mixture of rum, red wine, Babysham and prawn vol-u-vent. Uncle Bulgaria will never look the same again. Tried not to laugh but couldn’t stop myself. That’ll teach Mark for escaping from his bedroom. Next time I lock you in somewhere just stay there!
Had a long goodnight snog with Tommy on the doorstep till Dad spoilt it by coming out wanting to have a ‘man to man’ chat to him. Aagghh. Thought I was going to die with embarrassment. He even went to shake his hand. But Tommy was away by then.
When everyone had finally gone, Mum and Dad were very quiet. They might even have been in a bad mood but I was too drunk to notice. Chrissy wasn’t helping either by dropping full ashtrays and kicking cans of bitter over on Mums living room shag pile. Thought we’d better leave them to it and went to bed. Held on tight to the mattress to stop the room from spinning.

Sunday, 7th March

Chrissy stayed at my house last night and we sat up till it was light talking about everything that happened at the party. Woke up late and Mum, Dad and Mark had gone out. They left a note in the kitchen on the back of one of Dads old betting slips saying:
Thought they might be a little bit annoyed because it was all in capital letters and underlined.
Didn’t think they would be back for ages so stayed in bed chatting to Chrissy about Tommy. She got off with Phil the Greengrocer who had been going out with Mandy. He said he’d chucked her last week cos she won’t eat vegetables.
Chrissy had to go home to get her roll neck jumper for me to cover the giant lovebite on my neck. Dad will go mental if he sees it. Plastered it in toothpaste but it won’t shift. At least it smells nice and fresh though.
Couldn’t be bothered with clearing up. Think Mum and Dad must have done most of it before they left as it didn’t smell anywhere near as bad as it did last night. The fag burns on the settee were fewer than I thought and the beer can rings on Mums precious room-divider will polish out easy enough. I think.
They came home earlier than I thought and had the right hump when they walked in and we were still in bed. Dad kept moaning saying the place smelt like a brewery and someone had taken a leak all over his prize tomato plants in the back garden. He was in a great mood. Honestly, they can be such hard work sometimes.
Got up and went round Chrissy’s to get away from them. There was no spare booze in her house so went down to The Red Lion to see who was about. Cheered up when I spotted Tommy at the bar with his Dad. He still looked gorgeous in a rough-round-the-edges sort of way. Stood there grinning from ear to ear waiting for him to notice me and he just turned round and ignored me!
Don’t understand blokes at all.
Really fancy him now (even though it looked like he was still wearing the same clothes as he had on last night).
Came home and sat in Chrissy’s kitchen making a list of all the blokes we’ve snogged and scoring them out of ten. I’ve got four more on my list than Chrissy.
Kathy refused to make a list. Chrissy reckons it cos she’s still saving herself for David Cassidy. The only person on my list scoring a ten was Tommy.
Number 1 in the Top 40 – I LOVE TO LOVE by TINA CHARLES (Yes!).